Cooter talk...
For reasons I’ve already told you, my February 14 was non-traditional. We went to the Nashville Zoo. They had a presentation called Miami zoo and had been doing this presentation for 17 years. His familiarity with the material showed, and I laughed more here than I did in my last trip to Zanies.
Just a few things I learned….
- There are documented cases of rape in only two species: orangutans and humans. The males of all other species wait for permission before jumping on. It may be a subtle signal most of us don’t notice, but the female is always the one that initiates. Basically the same as with every guy I know.
- In an interesting reversal of the ways of man, in the animal world the male is the one that is more colorful and doing things to attract a mate. Perhaps that ties into Aunt B’s thoughts on how human women worry more about appearance in order to secure a mate as their protector. The female peacock doesn’t need a protector, so she doesn’t worry about appearance. It does make me wonder how things would be different if humanity was this way. Most single guys I know worry about their appearance, but it’s nothing compared to the average single woman. Would women worry about their appearance less if they didn’t have to consider the threat from men forcing their attention? If that were the case, I still don’t see the average guy spending a lot more time on his appearance. It’s kind of like a business monopoly.
- Homosexuality does exist in nature. It’s fairly rare, but it happens. He showed pictures of two lesbian flamingos that they have in the Miami zoo. Apparently a zoo in the UK has a problem with their penguin population because all of the males have bonded with each other. When they try to introduce females they ignore them. A lot of people like to say homosexuality is unnatural, but this definitely makes that harder to believe. Apparently this has happened in New York and Germany too.
- Most animals have an actual bone in their penis. At that revelation about half the women in the room prodded the guy sitting next to them with their elbow. But then we started talking about why those things are needed. In most species, the female is in heat for several days, but she doesn’t let him go right away. And when she is ready, he has to be ready right then. So the penis bone helps make sure he’s good to go at a moments notice. Also, when she’s ready, she’s good to go for a loooong time (days for some species) so the equipment needs to have staying power. Once again, it makes me wonder what humanity would be like with that little innovation. The ability to get it up at a moments notice and keep it that way for hours….. we’d die out as a species in a hurry. Either the women would all die from being over fucked, or they’d kill all the men just for some peace. Penis bones would definitely NOT work for a species that doesn’t have to wait for the female to be in heat.
- A female dog will be in heat for several days before letting any males breed her. The biologist told us that this is so that all the dogs around will be attracted, and they can fight it out to see who gets to do the deed. I think this is why they call a female dog a bitch.
- A male cat has spines on his penis that protrude back from the head and rake the vaginal wall when he pulls out. That’s why cats in heat sound like someone stepped on their tail. It’s also why the male cat always gets a paw to the face when he finishes up. Interestingly enough, not only does he keep coming back for more, but she’s also ready for more in half an hour.
- Orangutans like oral sex. No great observations about that one, but apparently at least some of the males know their way around a cooter. He had pictures.
- The female zebra has some pretty amazing cooter control. The outside is smooth black skin, but when she’s in heat she can open and close that skin to flash the pink at the males. Elephants also have that kind of cooter control. No mention of ping pong balls though.
- Apparently giraffe females like to walk during sex. If the male leans on her… he’s going down as soon as she takes a few steps. So in order to get lucky, a giraffe has to learn to walk on his hind legs.
It’s all for fun, but the point of the program was to raise interest and awareness in zoo animals. The Nashville zoo is fund raising to get 3 giraffes and they need contributions.
Just a few things I learned….
- There are documented cases of rape in only two species: orangutans and humans. The males of all other species wait for permission before jumping on. It may be a subtle signal most of us don’t notice, but the female is always the one that initiates. Basically the same as with every guy I know.
- In an interesting reversal of the ways of man, in the animal world the male is the one that is more colorful and doing things to attract a mate. Perhaps that ties into Aunt B’s thoughts on how human women worry more about appearance in order to secure a mate as their protector. The female peacock doesn’t need a protector, so she doesn’t worry about appearance. It does make me wonder how things would be different if humanity was this way. Most single guys I know worry about their appearance, but it’s nothing compared to the average single woman. Would women worry about their appearance less if they didn’t have to consider the threat from men forcing their attention? If that were the case, I still don’t see the average guy spending a lot more time on his appearance. It’s kind of like a business monopoly.
- Homosexuality does exist in nature. It’s fairly rare, but it happens. He showed pictures of two lesbian flamingos that they have in the Miami zoo. Apparently a zoo in the UK has a problem with their penguin population because all of the males have bonded with each other. When they try to introduce females they ignore them. A lot of people like to say homosexuality is unnatural, but this definitely makes that harder to believe. Apparently this has happened in New York and Germany too.
- Most animals have an actual bone in their penis. At that revelation about half the women in the room prodded the guy sitting next to them with their elbow. But then we started talking about why those things are needed. In most species, the female is in heat for several days, but she doesn’t let him go right away. And when she is ready, he has to be ready right then. So the penis bone helps make sure he’s good to go at a moments notice. Also, when she’s ready, she’s good to go for a loooong time (days for some species) so the equipment needs to have staying power. Once again, it makes me wonder what humanity would be like with that little innovation. The ability to get it up at a moments notice and keep it that way for hours….. we’d die out as a species in a hurry. Either the women would all die from being over fucked, or they’d kill all the men just for some peace. Penis bones would definitely NOT work for a species that doesn’t have to wait for the female to be in heat.
- A female dog will be in heat for several days before letting any males breed her. The biologist told us that this is so that all the dogs around will be attracted, and they can fight it out to see who gets to do the deed. I think this is why they call a female dog a bitch.
- A male cat has spines on his penis that protrude back from the head and rake the vaginal wall when he pulls out. That’s why cats in heat sound like someone stepped on their tail. It’s also why the male cat always gets a paw to the face when he finishes up. Interestingly enough, not only does he keep coming back for more, but she’s also ready for more in half an hour.
- Orangutans like oral sex. No great observations about that one, but apparently at least some of the males know their way around a cooter. He had pictures.
- The female zebra has some pretty amazing cooter control. The outside is smooth black skin, but when she’s in heat she can open and close that skin to flash the pink at the males. Elephants also have that kind of cooter control. No mention of ping pong balls though.
- Apparently giraffe females like to walk during sex. If the male leans on her… he’s going down as soon as she takes a few steps. So in order to get lucky, a giraffe has to learn to walk on his hind legs.
It’s all for fun, but the point of the program was to raise interest and awareness in zoo animals. The Nashville zoo is fund raising to get 3 giraffes and they need contributions.
posted by W at 5:02 PM
2 Comments:
Hurray! I love cooter talk. I also love penis bones. Not as much as I love cooter talk, but it's a close second.
Another factor in the "colorful plumage" category is the fact that, at least with many birds, the female has to sit on the nest. It behooves her to have camoflaged colors, so as not to be seen.
Gay flamingos? Who didn't see that coming? They're flamingos in South Beach, for cryin out loud.
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