How do you woo a cynical woman?
My date for Valentine’s Day showed up last night dressed all in black. Better yet, she had a heart embroidered on her sweater. Not the stylistic heart you see on February 14 every year, an actual representation of a human heart. It was a little rough looking, but you could tell what it was. I was forewarned, and found it pretty funny. That’s just the kind of thing you have to expect when you date an artist.
We do make an interesting couple, engineer and artist. The stereotypical engineer is logical to a fault, analytical, shy, and has no clue how to act around the opposite sex. The stereotypical artist…. Well when I try and describe a stereotypical artist, I don’t get much beyond “the opposite of an engineer”. Let’s just go with a free thinking rebel. (Anyone else notice how the stereotypical artist sounds a lot better than the stereotypical engineer?) Neither of us is that close to the extremes which those stereotypes are based on. So it’s not quite an ‘opposites attract’ relationship. It’s more of a complimentary strengths relationship.
Back to my topic of cynicism and romance. I have a friend who described her self to me as a ‘cynical romantic’. To me those are two words that are diametrically opposed a textbook oxymoron. Given what I know of her history I decided this means she likes romance when it happens to other people, but is suspicious of it when it happens to her.
Fortunately, my black wearing, artistic Valentine doesn’t seem to be cynical to romance in general. Just toward the day devoted to it. I managed to find out that this is something that goes back to high school where apparently February 14 was all about who had the richest boyfriend and the biggest flower arrangement. More than ten years later, her thoughts formed in high school still rule on this topic. If that doesn’t tell you how much impact the child has on the adult, then read it again.
So how do you woo a cynical woman? My answer so far…. subtlety. All you imaginary readers, feel free to make your own suggestions.
We do make an interesting couple, engineer and artist. The stereotypical engineer is logical to a fault, analytical, shy, and has no clue how to act around the opposite sex. The stereotypical artist…. Well when I try and describe a stereotypical artist, I don’t get much beyond “the opposite of an engineer”. Let’s just go with a free thinking rebel. (Anyone else notice how the stereotypical artist sounds a lot better than the stereotypical engineer?) Neither of us is that close to the extremes which those stereotypes are based on. So it’s not quite an ‘opposites attract’ relationship. It’s more of a complimentary strengths relationship.
Back to my topic of cynicism and romance. I have a friend who described her self to me as a ‘cynical romantic’. To me those are two words that are diametrically opposed a textbook oxymoron. Given what I know of her history I decided this means she likes romance when it happens to other people, but is suspicious of it when it happens to her.
Fortunately, my black wearing, artistic Valentine doesn’t seem to be cynical to romance in general. Just toward the day devoted to it. I managed to find out that this is something that goes back to high school where apparently February 14 was all about who had the richest boyfriend and the biggest flower arrangement. More than ten years later, her thoughts formed in high school still rule on this topic. If that doesn’t tell you how much impact the child has on the adult, then read it again.
So how do you woo a cynical woman? My answer so far…. subtlety. All you imaginary readers, feel free to make your own suggestions.
posted by W at 1:03 PM
9 Comments:
Go with the Tao of Steve.
1. Eliminate your desires.
2. Be excellent in her presence
3. After you eliminate your desire, after you've proved your excellence, you must retreat.
as the artistic half of the software engineer, i'd have to go with "the road to the heart goes straight through the head" and i mean metaphorically. when the otherh and i are engaged intellecutally, we can set the damned bed on fire. : ) did i really just write that?
Christ. Do not take any advice from the Tao of Steve.
No, om is right. Engage her intellectually and make sure she comes first (in the fun sense) and she'll be yours forever.
aunt b is right about the second part, too. (the fun sense bit).
The thing is, I know Exador knows that, which makes me think he's intentionally misdirecting W. with bad advice.
So mean. Clever, but so mean.
B,
That is a slanderous lie. I have often fallen into trouble by failing to follow the Tao.
W, if you want to believe women who don't even know what they want for themselves, good luck to you.
I dunno B. Exador is a fellow engineer so I don't think he would misdirect me. He's part of the fraternity.
Then again, being an engineer... odds are he knows even less about women than the average guy.
I'm just soooo confused.
Oh, that's very rich, Exador--"if you want to believe women who don't even know what they want for themselves". I'd love to hear your expand on this line of thought. I think I've been quite clear about what I want, but if it remains muddled to you, we can discuss it further.
W., stick with making sure she finds you intellectually stimulating and making sure she comes first. Trust me, we'll put up with a lot of bullshit for that.
W,
I can't argue with your logic, as it parallels my experience.
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